Later May Be Too Late

 

We all love to push thoughts of death to the very back of our minds, live life like it’s not going to end at some point, and even more than our own selves, we would rather think that our family and significant others are “always” just going to be right there with us through every step of the way. The truth though is that reality would always strike, albeit unannounced and uncaring for whether or not you had been prepared for its arrival.

Now, conflict is inevitable, as we have all learnt and continued to realize in our various interpersonal relationships; however much you love and care deeply about a person, there will always come times when you will have a clash of interests, differing views on a particular topic, and sometimes even absolutely opposing sides. Yes, that is just what is normal in the human world; we agree to disagree.

Depending on the involved persons and perceived value of the relationship, conflicts take different styles of manifestations and get resolved through different means as well. Sometimes, we choose to believe that the other party will always be just there, so we let ourselves sink deep in our hurt feelings and “ignore” the other party: they aren’t going anywhere. Really?

Lots of times, the greatest sadness we have to live with in grief is the fact that we had some unfinished business with the deceased; a restrained apology, explanation, forgiveness, among others.

You think you will make that call later? You think you have forgiven them in your heart but you will inform them later? You think you have gotten the treasure they have spent so long searching for but you will give it back later? You think they have hurt you so deeply you will only talk to them about it later? You think they didn’t give you the chance to share your side of the story so you will explain to them later? You think they wouldn’t be going anywhere so you can always attend to them later?

How often do we take the people that really matter to us for granted? Thinking they will always just be right there, with us, even if we are separated by distance or a weighty silence?

Well, I tell you, “later” may just be too late! Yes, let that sink: later may just be utterly too late! You wouldn’t want to shed tears at losing them and then shed tears again at your losing the chance (forever) to communicate this “message” you hoarded while it would make any meaning to them; even if it wouldn’t save them or anything, maybe it could have brightened their final moments, or at least, unburdened your own soul! But then, you would forever live with the weight of the unshared message… 

Doing it in the next one minute might still be too late! Why not right now? Aren’t they that important? Is your ego more important than your relationship and bond? Is your desire to be proven “right” greater than your need to be heard and understood?

That which you are trying to avoid/get might eventually not mean a single thing: you want them to feel the intensity of your hurt/anger, or you don’t want them to think that you can’t even live without them, or you want them to realize how much you mean to them… it could be really great, and yes, it is essential for every party in a relationship to understand where they stand so that nobody feels like they are doing the other person a favour for “staying” with them. But, in a situation where your roles are clearly defined and the feelings of the other party is already as crystal as glass; why sweat it? Why cause them anguish and pains? Does the pain they feel lighten yours in any way? Aren’t they anymore the ones you say you love and treasure so deeply? Why would you rather they suffer on your account?

It could be really difficult to overlook and forgive some things, but, you sure would agree that it is always best to just have all involved parties involved in the process of “forgiving” and “moving on”. If you “plan” to do it later anyway, then, why not now?

You could be hurt with justifiable reasons, and you could desire a “break” away from this person, which is perfectly normal. The deal is: don’t drag it longer than is necessary so that you don’t have to bear the brunt of guilt at the end of the day.

What if they had concluded you were no longer interested in their lives and had already just moved on (in good or bad ways); what would you say then? Blame and resent them more again?

Don’t let your ego steal more essential priceless gems from you, overcome the “restraint” that pulls you back every time you pick the phone and maybe even check up their contact so that you feel like “now” is not the time to give them a call… do it now, whatever it is that you’ve been holding back from, whatever it is that is keeping you aloof in a relationship that is otherwise dear to your heart and soul, whatever it is that is hurting and breaking you in the name of “purnishing” the other party, now is the time to change the narrative and get things done! Let them know you still very much clear, communicate the hurt you’re still feeling in clear terms, give them a fair chance at an atonement, and yes, let things fall back in shape so they grow even more beautiful with time.

Later might just be too late… don’t risk it!

Do well to share your thoughts in the comment section, and share with loved ones; let's all make the most of the moment! Thanks for reading!